Beyond Words

• Pop Those Black Balloons is an article I wrote, under the pen name of Laura, for  Misadventures with Andi, in celebration of the author’s 40th birthday.

What does it mean to turn 40? 50 or 55? Having reached 55 a few months ago I’ve thought about what that really means. The answer? I haven‘t a clue. An internet search did lead me to numerous sites for the ‘hottest’ women over 40. Great!

Women with hot bodies and gorgeous faces, showing lots of cleavage. It is actually reassuring to see that someone thinks women can still be hot over 40-that is progress, in some fashion. Finding images of mature women, confident and happy in the prime of life requires a bit more searching. You won’t see them represented in popular culture.

Our society doesn’t value age, especially when it comes to women. We’re all about youth. So much of the advertising for women of a certain age is focused on how to ‘reclaim’ that youthful dewy look. How absolutely unrealistic! We can dye our grey hair, get a facelift, a pushup bra, force ourselves into tummy control undergarments and dress like teens-for what?

Where is the balanced image of women I sought? How do women navigate reaching an age that is perceived as significant, even over the hill? Women in this second half of life are exciting. We possess maturity and experience which makes us good employees, bosses, lovers, friends and partners. We can be frisky, spontaneous, and playful while possessing the wisdom to know the right place and time. We are comfortable in our own bodies and we know how to satisfy ourselves and our partners. We don’t get ruffled as easy—we can handle challenges and disruptions. We possess clear minds, fit bodies and a wealth of ideas and interests.

So, why does the media have such trouble portraying women of a certain age? Why isn’t Jamie Curtis talking about the powerful things she’s done in her life instead of urging us to eat yogurt for our delicate digestive system? Why can’t Sally Fields find something more important to talk about than her anxiety over weak bones? C’mon… Why do people buy over the hill balloons (black and funereal) and talk in whispered tones about turning 40? Women become their own worst enemy when they do that—it is like fraternizing with the enemy.

Let’s celebrate, own our age and embrace it unapologetically. Be sexy if we choose, bold, brash, brainy. Be assertive, show off our gifts and talents. Be ourselves.

We owe it to ourselves to honor the progress we’ve made as women. At 40 it’s a time to look back (briefly) with satisfaction on where we’ve been and rejoice at the wide range of opportunities awaiting us. Life is far from over; in fact I think these years bring greater joy and satisfaction. It should be a celebration with bright colors and excitement, ripe with possibility. Save the black balloons for another day.